30/90 glow stick

So far it's been fun being back, and it makes what needs to happen with my body painfully obvious.

Right now, my goal is to:

-do at least one set of every pose,
-and to keep my spine extended (or stretched out) as much as I can the whole time,
-and to start the poses on time, even if I don't get more than a step or two into it.

Simply keeping my spine extended is surprising hard. Another way to say that might be maintaining proper posture.

There's so many things working against it! My big gut tries to knock it out of line a lot, and sometimes my muscles are too tired to counteract the forces of gravity acting on my gut! Sometimes I'll have tension in my shoulders that hold back my spine from really stretching out.... neck tension is actually knocking my spine out of alignment.

SO if neck tension or gut fatness aren't messing me up, or being out of breath, and if I'm able to simply stand or lay there with good posture, THEN I try to get as far as I can into the pose without messing up my nice stretched out spine.

When the spine is all nice and stretched out, and isn't being pulled out of proper alignment, it feels really good. Then when I'm able to keep it all nicely stretched out AND bend it/ stretch it from side to side or front to back in one of the poses, it's like a glow stick breaking and letting out all the glowie energy.

So, a woman in crestwood did a 30 day challange and posted daily pics of her progress. that was really inspiring. she was quite the inspiration and I hope she knows that.

I had to make peace with putting my fall from yoga excellence on public display by going back to yoga. I always say, when something scared me, I make a point of doing it. Walking back into the studio once I had fallen shockingly far scared me. So that's when I knew it was time to do it.

For myself, obviously, and for loved ones, and for strangers. I can serve as a perfect example of why you should NOT stop doing yoga, and what happens to you if you do stop, but that no matter what happens, you should never be afraid to get back into the studio.

So now someone publicly stated they were doing 90 classes in a row.... so I said if they did that I would go once a week. Seemed like a little moral support going both ways...then some others said they would do stuff I did that... then I got talked up to 30 classes in 90 days, which is fair enough. I just want my spine to feel good again really!!!

I think the motto of this adventure is going to be "Putting the stud back in studio".

Just kidding.

Wow! Don't ever take like two years off from doing yoga! geez. I've done it off an on over the past couple years, like maybe done a few classes a couple times a year... but basically I've done nothing to keep in shape and have treated my body pretty poorly over the past few years. Had a kid, got divorced, moved a couple times, had a house fire that relocated me for 6 months...had to stop leading silent classes and everything else just added up to no yoga for me. Tried to get back into it, but couple never get in the groove. Now I'm back again, hoping the habit sticks this time. I've put all the ego part behind me long ago - going from having one of the best practices to being an out of shape 40something year old "beginner"... but with the kid schedule and the work schedule I have I have always just wanted to do nothing when I had a couple free hours, not spend it in the torture chamber! Now... hopefully life is under control enough to keep with it. My motivations for going back this time were three fold - 1, my little one starts preschool at the school my ex teaches at, and I thought if I started going to yoga again I may at least recognize a friendly face when I stepped back into that world almost 4 years after my first son graduated from that same school....2, I'm REALLY out of shape and feeling it bad... and 3, I realized my favorite social activities don't actually involve having to interact with people, so yoga class kinda fits that bill perfectly! My range of motion is shot. My stamina is almost shot. So all I try to do is start the pose when we're supposed to, and get into it far enough to get "maximum benefit" as Bikram always says, then stay there until the pose is over. Only thing is the "maximum benefit" part of the pose that I get into now is like 10 steps away from how deep I used to be able to get into the pose, but I'm glad to hopefully provide some inspiration to others by proudly displaying how far backwards one can go if they let them self take a couple years off! I'm lucky to have a studio that has always so warmly welcomed me back even though I had to leave in such a hurry when the stuff hit the fan in my personal life a couple years ago!

an essay about letting your breath fill your whole body? and where your voice comes from?

A few months ago a teacher said something about letting your breath fill your whole body on your inhales.

It initially sounded like kind of goofy advice so I blew it off. (haha is that a pun?).

But then I think I kind of got what they meant even though I wasn't trying to.

I noticed that I was filling my lungs on my inhales, but as soon as my lungs felt full I would stop inhaling.

So I thought 'OK, keep going, let your breath fill your whole body'. So instead of stopping with my inhale when my lungs were full I kept going & let my breath fill my whole body.

I don't know how it works, but it does, and it might help anyone who does aerobic exercises to get more oxygen into your blood.

I think the way it works is that you aren't actually letting your breath fill your whole body (duh), but you're not letting your body get in the way of your lungs expanding as much as they can.

You're like devoting your whole body to helping your lungs fill as much as possible.

You can try it like this - take in as big of a breath as you can. Then, decide that you're going to let your breath fill your whole body, not just your lungs.

I always manage to find a little more space in my lungs that way.

On a sort of related note, I've been working on letting my voice come from the very bottom of my sternum lately.

When listening to youself say begin, change, & release like 50 times each over 90 minutes every week for years & years, you have time to fine tune your voice I guess.

Plus, other people have to listen to me say it as they do yoga, so if I sound all stressed & nervous & tired & distracting it can take away from people's expereince.

And it's hard not to feel stressed, tired, &/or nervous sometimes.

So to break old habits, I really had to ask myself what makes a relxed, confident voice.

Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes. I think that's the epitome of a relaxed condifent voice under pretty tough circumstances. Untill that last scene I guess. Then he loses it, and you have to really feel for him when he does.

But up till then I think he did a pretty good job of staying relaxed, confident, and focused under pretty tough circumstances.

It's too late to make a long story short, but I noticed my voice used to come from real high up my throat, and I know it's supposed to come from way down deep.

So today I focused on letting it come from the bottom of my sternum. Or, even just below it. Before I said each word, I made sure my voice was going to come from way down there, & not from way up high in my throat like tends to happen when one gets nervous, or stressed, or tense or something.

One of the tricks of yoga is taking full, deep breaths every time.

As the teacher, I have to set that example by letting my voice show that I'm doing that.

It's a tricky thing to learn, but next time you have to talk in front of a bunch of people & your're nervous, just try to make sure your breathing deep & your voice is coming from way down near the bottom of your sternum.

Up next - what do I have to think about everything so much? lol

If I want to sound more relaxed & focused, & less distracting during class, why can't I just do that without having to think about it so much that I might as well go ahead & write an essay about it?

The eye's have it.

What's your brain's need-for-adventure level?

Some people need adventure every day in their lives. Their ancenstors were probably hunters, fronteirsmen, explorers, things like that. There used to be a lot of those kinds of people!

Those kinds of people operate best under very exciting, novel circumstances.

Then on the other end of the scope, there's people who like 100% routine secutity and stability. Those people are called women. Just kidding. Those people's ancentors were farmers, and stayed home to take care of the cave, and things like that.

Now a days, society needs those kinds of people for the most part. Think of the country as a big industrial machine, and everyone has to do their part for it to keep running. Buy things, have a job, follow the laws, pretty much do what you're supposed to do.

Go back far enough, and society was probably 50% lovers of routine and 50% adventurers. The adventurers found the food, found places to live, and had battles and stuff.

The routine lovers held down the fort.

They later on once farming got popular and people settled down, society started needing more routine lovers and less adventurers.

Then recently, once industrialization hit, our need for routine lovers jumped tremendously and our need for adventurers went wayyyy down.

What's become of all the people who are geneticly inclined to be adventurers, as society's need for these people as dwindled?

Some find high adventure jobs, like firemen, or ER Nurses, or creative jobs like scientist, or maybe they open their own business and blaze their own trail that way. They find some way they can get their need for adventure out of their system AND make a proper living.

But there's probably not enough of those high adventure jobs to go around to all the people who seek high adventure, so until the genetic pool catches up with society's needs, there's going to be a lot of people who have jobs that they, at times, find really boring.

Those people work away by day, drawing their paychecks, then find their adventure after hours. Maybe they rock climb, or bicycle, or do Bikram yoga, or plan and take trips.

Point is, they have to do something almost every day that they DON'T already know the outcome of. Something totally unroutine. That's what adventure is - doing something that you don't know the outcome of, but the ouycome is of some matter to you.

Will you fall off the cliff and die? How fast will you be able to finish the bike race? Somehow, even though every Bikram class is the same, everyone is an adventure. Don't ask me how, but after 1000 classes everyone still gets my attention because I don't know if I can do it or not.

Maybe that's because I'm getting older. Will this be the class I'm finally too old to do this and I get fired? Will this be the class I finally actually pass out? or fall down? (actually I have fallen down before, just so you know.)

Other people find adventure in sports - no one knows what the outcome of each sporting event will be, and we all care who wins. That can be exciting.

Sadly, there's other ways people find adventure in life too. Easier ways. Maybe they drink or do drugs - that can add a little adventure to your evenings. Drink enough and walking can even be an adventure.

Dating ramdom women can be an adventure, or exciting at least. For a while.

Driving reckless can be an adventure, because you might die.

Luckily, now a days there's legal, prescribed drugs that can turn a mind 'on' even if a situaion in life isn't adventurous enough to "turn on" a mind that likes high adventure.

Got a kid in school who can't stand sitting still all day? no problem. give him a drug that will make his mind think he's doing something exciting. Give him a stimulant.

Got a boring 9-5 job? no problem. Lots of adults get stimulants now too.

The label for people who's mind loves adventure and excitement so much that they can't focus on boring things is ADD. Saying ADD on the rise is an understatement.

ADD people are hyper because they're trying so hard to create some excitement.

There's now a whole new breed of ADD that's been discovered, people who are equally bored with life but instead of getting hyper, they just zone out and float on along.

That's called ADD-Inattentive and a whole generation of kids grew up before that label was invented who didn't understand why school and reptitious things were so boring to them that they literally couldn't make themselves focus on some things.

But anway, that's one option, taking stimulants that make your boring life seem interesting to your high-adventure brain.

Or, maybe wake up and ask yourself - what can I accomplish today? what can I do that will provide a little adventure to my boring life?

maybe I can clean my car - that will change things up a bit. Or visit a relative that I ususally don't visit. Or maybe I can come up with a plan that will improve my workplace, or make my company more effecient.

There's constructive ways to find adventure in life if your brain craves it. There's safe, healthy ways to pacify your brain's desire for adventure if your life doesn't have enough of it on it's own.

Just be aware of your brain's need for adventure, and know how you pacify it instead of just blindly seeking out excitment that is bad for you, just to fulfil your brain's desire for adventure.

Oh yeah, the eyes have it..... in class I was staring into my own eyes, like you do for most of class, concentrating really hard on nothing (which is as art! try it!) and it hit me - gee, I probably have more eye contact with myself that I do with everyone else in life combined!

what's up with that? where's the eye contact in the world gone?

The I's have it

Everyone should have a few causes that they promote. You can't rely on anyone else to move humanity forward other than ourselves.

The government provides the things the economy needs like roads, the internet, & money to bail banks out.

The government provides an army to make sure our territory is safe. And it provides laws to make sure we don't bother one another too much.

But as far as actually moving humanity forward, that's up to each of us individually. No one is going to do it for you. Even churches - the impact most of them have in the world around them is somewhat limited.

Child abuse. Animal cruelity. The enviroment or parks. Religious freedom in China. Drug abuse. Hunger. Consumerism. Racism. Sexism (if that stil even exist?? lol) You can't sit back & expect other to adress all the things that need to be adressed in order to improve the quality of all our lives and to ease pain & suffering in the world.

So pick a few causes. Or one or two & work on them. Maybe just donate some money to a cause that needs it. Maybe you simply start riding your bike instead of driving just to kinda spread that idea around. Maybe you stop supporting factory farming just to spread that idea around a little.

Maybe you have time to be a big brother or sister & show kids there's another way to live.

Just pick a cause that matters to you & do something about it.

It's a ... Life

So, what would the world be like if you were never born? I mean really think about it.

In some ways it would be worse, and in a way or two it might be a bit better. I know of an old house that just might be a little better shape today if I had never owned it, for example. And a kid I knew in 7th grade might feel a little better about himself if we hadn't picked on him. (Randy Downes. Earl's not the only one who keeps a karma list. Mine's just a LOT shorter.)

But would the world overall be a better, or a worse place?

I know for a fact that if you give enough of yourself... trying to do the right thing, make the world a better place, stuff like that.... that good things will just seem to happen to you when you need them the most, just almost exactly like the way it sometimes happens on My Name is Earl.

To a large degree, life really is like a battle between good & evil. Between those people who have a heart & soul, & those people who cherish money & power above a stranger's wellfare. Everyone has to pick which side they're going to be on.

Some people are really non-factors, some people kinda play both sides. But when you really end up doing a lot of good for Team Heart & Soul, Team Heart & Soul pays you back.

I used to talk about it sometimes, and of course people would think I was nuts. That's why I only talked about it sometimes. But when My Name is Earl came out, suddenly Karma was main stream. Main streamish anyway.

Earl thinks you have to specifically make up for every bad thing you did though, like if you stole someone's car you have to buy that person a new car. But I think that you just have to do something good enough to offset the bad you did to that person. But that's just technicalities. Maybe Earl's right anyway.

Like, I've been hurt by women before, I've hurt women before... overall, I think I'm even. So all is cool, right? I don't have to go back & make up for hurting e v e r y s i n g l e woman I've hurt, do I? I think not.

Or, maybe if I steal a car the person I stole it from deserved to have it stolen from them. Or maybe it somehow actually did them some good; like taught them a valuable lesson. Like, ever notice how people who have their cars broken in to are the ones who cherish their material possessions just a little bit too much anyway?

But anyway, that karma stuff works. That's why people who stumble onto it end up writing about it and making TV shows about it.

Take George Baily in Its a Wonderful Life. He had all those people whose lives he touched. Friends, if you will.

But what about the people who really do a lot of good for the world, but who work more behind the scenes? People who are good people, never steal, always put money in the bucket when the Crusade for Children comes around, have a good respectable job, try to be 'green', who always vote for the most moral candidate.... but who have a hard time connecting to the people they're in contact with every day?

Maybe they always offer the cashier at the store a smile, but are withdrawn & don't handle parties well, for example?

Maybe when the see their neighbors they always offer a pleasant wave and a nice smile, but they never really knew how to go about actually making friends with anyone?

My challange for the new year is to find people like that & try to make a connection with them.

They might even scare people off with their grumpyness, but maybe you'll see something completely different if you look just below the surface. Maybe they've just been hurt & dissapointed by life, even going back to early childhood, and have kept being a good person, but have built some kind of shell around them.

Maybe a shell of grumpyness... or aloofness..... or shyness. Those are the matierials that protective shells are made of. They're designed to keep people at arm's legnth, because people no closer than arm's legnth can't really hurt or dissapoint you.

Big Splashes

Lately my thoughts have been divided between two things. One is posture, the other is wondering what life is all about.

One day in class my spine just suddenly felt incredible. I felt just really alert and energized and centered it was all centered on my spine somehow.

Don't ask me how though.

I've read things about all the energy flowing through your spine and how keeping your body's energy pathways open can really make a difference in life, but that sounds pretty kooky to me, for lack of a better word.

But, I do know that after like a thousand yoga classes over 5 years (6 years?), I may have finally started to undo all the damage I that had done to my spine & posture over the previous 30 years.

All of a sudden I just felt something. It just felt good.

I think we've all seen what a difference posture makes in a person's appearance- slumpy peole look week - think Barney Fife... and people with medium posture look simply OK - thing George our current President Bush... and people with kick ass posture look powerful and gain the most respect - think Arnold the Govenator.

My posture was never terrible, but I swear I think I had my spine pinched in places almost like, well, almost like I was cutting off my energy pathways if you want to look at it that way.

The first place was in my shoulders. I've always carried so much tension in my shoulders that I think I was tugging on my spine with them.

The second place was behind my stomach. I think my adominal muscles had always been so week that the weight of my gut was tugging on my back.

But somehow, on this one day, I had my shoulders totally relaxed and my abdominal muscles were firm from top to bottom and not tugging on my spine in one particular spot.

It felt so good to have a perfectly straight spine that I noticed it right away... I had just stumbled into it almost by accident, but I noticed it as soon as it happened.

Then I got scared I wouldn't be able to find that position again and, so, of course I couldn't for like a week.

But I have noticed it off & on again a couple times.

And it simply felt really good.

It's not stumbling upon things like that every so often that keep me giong back to yoga class time & time again, it's the simply the ability to even notice subtle things like that which keep me coming back to yoga class time & time again.


Oh shoot. Looks like I don't have time to write about what I've been thinking life is all about today.

Well, maybe next time. One thing has to do with having fun & simply enjoying the moments that we have here. Simply being in the moment & appreciating the gift that is life.

Of course to really do that you have to feel good about life, which means taking care of all your responsibilitie and being a good citizen and all that.... and have your life going in the right direction so that you aren't stressed or worried about things to come.

I was also thinking about how everyone wants to be famous. To make a huge splash in the world.

And who doesn't want to be important and a leader and all that?

But then I was thinking about my grandfather, a simple man from a humble upbringing who worked for Louisville Gas & Electric. And he signed up to join the Marines during WWII.

Now, he never made a real big splash, except to those who knew him maybe. But he did his part, he did it well.

He helped us win the war, and that war was actually an important war.

And he raised 4 kids right. And they all had kids. And now there's dozens of people running around because of him, each of them making the world a little better place just like he did.

When someone makes a big splash, the rings from that splash keep going & going outward. And those waves can often outlive the source of the splash.

When someone makes a little splash, the rings around that little splash can keep going & going too.

And eventually they'll make just as big of a circle as that big splash.

So, big splash, little splash, who cares.

Just make a splash with rings around it that will keep going forever.